This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
