There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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