I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
that may or may not have been my penis.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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