just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
