Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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