My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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