I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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