no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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