I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Banned from zoo.
Again?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
