Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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