dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
