Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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