i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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