he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
