she was so not down for the gang bang
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just blew my weed a kiss
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
