Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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