Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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