So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
