Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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