Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
