You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
