Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
