Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
