Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
