I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
