Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
there is glitter all over my balls
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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