i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
