his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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