I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
