that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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