wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize