You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
