if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
