so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
try to milk me bitch
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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