Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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