OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize