Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
