quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
