why didn't you poke me back
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
