Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
