thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish life had little blips of pornography
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
