what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
