$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
