she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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