I don't usually arrange sex via text message
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
