people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
