Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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