I puked a lego.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
