I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
