He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
