This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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