The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
