the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Drake has all the answers
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
