doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
