i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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