you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
