i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
