I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
