we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
