you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
