ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize