THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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