hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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