Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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