true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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