Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
