someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
