we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
