Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
